Posted by: theworldisretarded | May 14, 2009

Better luck next time


A prisoner in England jammed his dick in his fly. Normally, doing something like this makes you pretty retarded, because it obviously hurts like a muthafucka and there’s a good chance a part of your junk will get caught in your zipper, making it look like a piece of chewed Juicy Fruit is stuck to your pants. But that is hardly retarded enough to warrant a mention here. Shit happens.

But prisoner Kelly Edney is retarded because he did this on purpose, as part of a grand scheme to be taken to a hospital and escape from there. Not quite the Shawshank Redemption, but I guess its better than being raped in the shower.

Once at the hospital for his zipped up dick, Edney went to a bathroom, got out of his handcuffs, and escaped out of a window to sniff the sweet smell of freedom. Unfortunately, once escaped, he proceeded to assault a woman, steal her car, and then was caught again after a high-speed police chase.

On the bright side, nobody wants to rape him anymore because his dick looks like an old teething toy for babies.

whether you crawl through a pipeline of diarrhea like andy dufresne or mangle your dong like kelly edney here, you sure as hell better make sure once you’re free you don’t get caught again. retard


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: