Posted by: theworldisretarded | March 23, 2009

“Quit cigs and start the smarts”

NOT SMART(IES): DOCTORS WARN OF DANGERS IN KIDS ‘SMOKING’ SUGARY CANDIES

First of all FOXnews.com, thats the gayest headline I’ve ever read. NOT SMART(IES)?? Really FOXnews? My high school journalism teacher would’ve put the kabosh on that ASAP. On the bright side, I think thats the first time I’ve ever successfully used the word kabosh in a sentence, so I got that going for me.

Secondly, this is just fucking ridiculous. To begin with, smarties are delicious, and smoking them is a total waste. And I don’t care how old you are, pretending to smoke something is lame as shit. If you want to be a badass 10-year old, beat up a 12-year old or smoke an actual joint or something.. Don’t tell me you’re smoking smarties until you buy some Zig Zags, roll the smarties up and spark that shit up.

Health experts are warning that kids who smoke smarties could lead to smoker’s cough, infections, or even maggots living inside of your nose feeding off the candy dust. I don’t know about you, but if someone told me I had to choose between heart disease from cigarettes or maggots living in my nose from smarties, I would have a tough decision to make.

VERDICT:
how bored could a little kid be to start blazin’ smarties? this is completely effing retarded

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