Posted by: theworldisretarded | March 5, 2009

Hostage situation

POLICE CIRCULATE PHOTOGRAPHS OF SURRENDER OF GUNMAN IN THE FEDERAL DISTRICT

So easy, a caveman could do it.

So easy, a caveman could do it.

This article is from Brazil, and was translated – very, very poorly – by Google. I’m not totally sure what the hell happened, but apparently some guy held this 60-year old woman hostage over 42 bucks with a Sega laser gun.

First of all, if I’m ever going to hold someone hostage, I would definitely use the Duck Hunt gun for Nintendo. Maybe one of the shotguns from Big Buck Hunter. But definitely not a weak ass Sega gun.

Secondly, I would make sure my hostage wasn’t so absurdly hideous looking. Brazil may have given us spank-bank mainstays such as Gisele and Adriana Lima, but this missing link might single-handedly tip the whole country’s scales back down to average. Look at that woman! Thats a face only a mother could love….if the mother was Helen Keller. And she is definitely not passing the pencil test (the first one) anytime soon. Would anyone even care if he had shot this wildebeest? As long as it was a closed casket and nobody had to look at that smile again, I say it would be all good.

VERDICT:
how do you get taken hostage with a fucking toy gun? and is that guy holding a turkey baster in the second picture? retardado. (thats how they say retarded in brazil)

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