Posted by: theworldisretarded | February 25, 2009

Lion mauling

LION MAULS MAN AT WESTERN KANSAS ANIMAL REFUGE

lion-attack

Some dude in Kansas wandered over to a lion cage near the motel he was staying at, and got mauled by a lion. Ignore for a moment that a lion refuge probably should never, ever be anywhere near a motel, and lets focus on what makes this article great. Mostly that mauled is such a great word to describe this kind of thing. In my mind it really implies a complete domination, like an ass raping without the actual ass rape. Painful, degrading, and defenseless is how I want to fuck up a human if I ever die and come back as a lion. I will MAUL a motherfucker.

Somehow the guy survived, but his arm was shredded up like half a string cheese. Sounds like someone should’ve married a puppy.

VERDICT:
the guy survived, but hes not pressing charges. are you fucking kidding me? you survived a lion mauling retard!!! thats a golden ticket if i ever heard of one

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