Brazilian smokeshow and Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima apparently eloped with her NBA-scrub boyfriend Marko Jaric. According to this article, Lima “tied the knot with her NBA star beau Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day.” First of all, if Marko Jaric is an NBA star, I am a goddamn astronaut. This season he is averaging exactly 1.9 more points per game than me, which isn’t very many considering I don’t even play in the fucking NBA. And not only does Jaric completely blow, he looks like one of the muppets from Crank Yankers. If his eyes were any closer together he would be a cyclops.
The article also talks about how Lima is a well-known virgin, and was named the “World’s Most Voluptuous Virgin” by GQ. No argument there.
marko fucking jaric? this is retarded