http://worldisretarded.blogspot.com/

VERDICT:
its ironic/retarded that this video is wayyyy more entertaining if you’re stoned. thanks, early-90′s. in other news, i just found my new ringtone

I’m not proud that people search fart or camel toe to find this blog, but I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. But who the fuck searched kiddie porn? And why does a search for kiddie porn bring someone here?

I’d like to say right now that this website does NOT condone kiddie porn. If thats what you’re into, we kindly ask that you stick to MySpace like the rest of the pedophiles. Thank you in advance.

Now, I’m not very political, and thats not the point of this site at all. If something in the news doesn’t concern my fantasy baseball team or some sweet titties, I’m probably not interested. And yea, I voted for Obama, but it was mostly because he plays basketball and watches The Wire. But regardless of who you voted for, you can’t deny that Obama is the fucking man. He’s our generation’s Frank Sinatra or Fonzie.

A while ago I asked a friend of mine, who’s both a big golfer and a big pot smoker, if he would rather golf 18 holes with Tiger Woods, or smoke a joint with Barack. He answered smoking with Barack quicker than the man, the myth, the legend himself swatted that fly.

It should also be noted that if George Bush ever tried to pull this off, he probably would’ve slapped a baby or poked his own eyeball out.

O-BAM-A!! O-BAM-A!!

Wow. What the fuck is going on here?? Apparently the song is from a Zelda video game, but I had no idea black dudes even played video games other than Madden, let alone had dance parties to the Zelda soundtrack.

On a sidenote, big up to the Indian dude from Parks and Recreation for posting this video on his blog. Not that he reads this site (your loss Indian dude from Parks and Recreation), but apparently I should be crediting other websites when I find shit like this. Whatever.

VERDICT:
this is like a weirder, gayer boyz II men video

Some umpire at a high school baseball game in Iowa ejected over 100 spectators from the game for being “unruly.” Now, I can admit that umpires have a pretty thankless job. If they do their job right, nobody notices, but if they screw up, everyone hates them. However, I still have several issues with this schmuck in Iowa.

First of all, this is the most un-fucking-American thing I have ever heard of. Baseball is our national past time, and if you can’t get drunk and yell obscenities here, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Be one of those fucking weirdos who goes to a game listening to the radio broadcast on his walkman and keeps his own score card? Fuck that. You know where else they kick fans out for heckling? Fucking Baghdad. And Nazi Germany. And probably North Korea too. (Or maybe South Korea? Whatever the bad one is with the funny little guy in charge.)

Secondly, unless I’m playing in the game, this ump has zero authority over me. I know it. He knows it. Everyone should know this. As far as I’m concerned, I would tell this ump to take the $25 he makes per game and stick it up his cunt. OK, I probably wouldn’t say cunt if there were parents around because I’m kind of a pussy and I wouldn’t want any of the parents in attendance to tell my mom what I said. But I digress. This isn’t the 18th at Augusta. This is a freaking high school baseball game!! Heckling is just as much a part of baseball as Dominicans, sunflower seeds, and steroids.

Its also important to remember that this game was in Iowa. Last I checked, the Hawkeye State wasn’t exactly a thriving cultural center. Once you get kicked out of the local high school baseball game, your entire weekend is pretty much shot. All because of some shithead umpire.

VERDICT:
fuck you ump. go shove your 25 bucks up your cunt

I also want to apologize to the faithful minions who check this site on a daily basis (I’m talking to you, Kevin Allen) and were left with no news of the retarded for several days. For that I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. (And for the record, even with this week-long hiatus, I am still banging out like 50 hits a day without even trying. Who the fuck is reading this?)

In honor of my return, I would like to give a shoutout to legendary rapper turned pastor turned rapper again, Ma$e. Its not everyday somebody can rap about making money without the coca and living la vida without the loca.

Good talk, I’ll see ya out there.

VERDICT:
i’m pretty sure the forefathers of the internet did not have this kind of thing in mind when they were doing…..whatever it is someone would do to invent the internet, but thank god they did

Two things. 1. Note its the kid to his left that is fucking with him. 2. Why the fuck did he take his shirt off?

VERDICT:
closed-fist is usually always better than an open-hand bitch slap, but in this case the bitch slap was fucking AWESOME. and now that i think about it, ripping your shirt off before slapping someone out of their goddamn chair is fucking badass. touche